Bloopers.
I’ve talked about too many serious things recently. It’s time for some bloopers! In no particular order, the things that have made us laugh. I’ll probably update this as we go - we need reminders of these moments of silliness during the intense parts!
Things that happened while I was on the exam table
(P.S., you’re on this table a lot. Think yearly gynecology exam, stirrups and all)
“Honey… not now": On our second IUI, my husband was in the room for the insemination procedure (along with the doctor and the nurse). Picture this: the nurse has my husband’s “contribution” ready to go in the catheter and is waiting to hand it to the doctor… the doctor says (looking at me) “do you have any questions?” I quickly say “nope, all good” and I’m thinking “let’s just get on with this!” when my husband pipes in: “Oh yes I have a question! So… how do you know that the [ovulation] trigger shot worked and that she ovulated?”
Let me just remind you of the scene: I’m laying there, spread eagle, doctor right there ready to go, nurse standing with the catheter. The doctor then launches into a full medical description of how different trigger shots work, etc. etc. and my husband is asking follow up questions… I will pause so you can laugh. They finally finished talking and the procedure, which takes all of 30 seconds, was over in a flash. After that we agreed to no questions at least until procedures were over.
Cue our next blooper: We’re at a monitoring appointment during the stimulation phase of IVF treatment. The doc’s in there doing the ultrasound, checking out my ovaries… and my husband is there. Also in the room are a resident and the nurse… and this isn’t a very large room. My husband works for a local hospital, and the doctor is an affiliate at the hospital. This time the doctor starts a conversation (note my husband’s and my previous agreement). So they get to talking about the hospital and the doctor mentions that his badge has stopped working. My husband says “oh I can get that fixed for you no problem”, doctor: “great! I’ll go get it from my car after we’re done!” Me (internally): “that’s great, so glad we can help but HI, HELLO… over here!”
The moral of these stories is that what once was an experience only reserved for annual gyn appointments is now a place where casual conversation feels normal and all I can do is laugh at the strange alternate universe we’re living in.
Things that happened while I was fully clothed
I’m with you always: It’s out third IUI - my husband can’t be there because of work. He drops his contribution off at the clinic and heads off. I come in two hours later and the nurse is cracking up: “Your husband - he is SO funny.” Me: "He really is, (and I love this about him, except when he’s asking questions while I’m on the exam table) what did he say this time?” She says: “When he came in to drop this off, I asked if he’d be coming back for the procedure and he said ‘no, I can’t make it… but a ~ piece of me ~ will be there in the room with you all…’” Creepy.. but also hilarious.
“She moves her body like a cyclone.”: (quick name that song…its not that hard) I was getting ready for a baby shower… and I have no idea how the conversation got there but we decided that if this all works out we’re not just having a shower after what we’ve been through - we’re having a BABY HURRICANE! That’s right. A Category 5 BABY HURRICANE. Say some prayers that this works because now I really want to have this party. Hurricane preparedness kits for everyone!
