Find your tribe
A funny thing happens when you begin telling friends and family that you are having trouble conceiving…
Almost every time my husband or I have opened up, the response has been something like “I am so sorry you are going through that… my [sister-cousin-aunt-mom-sister-in-law-friend-colleague] also went through it” (it usually continues with - “and they have a kid, so it’ll work out for you!” which, depending on the day, either brings me hope or makes me want to crawl in bed and cry).
On a few of these occasions, friends have connected me to that other person who has been through it and for this I am more grateful than I have words to express. I feel so lucky to have a few strong women (who are now moms- yay!) be a part of this crazy roller coaster with me. They have checked in, shared their stories, and been a source of encouragement in a way that both wants the joy for you but also understands the pain in it all. I saw one of them a few weeks ago for the first time in a few months. I had a glass of wine in my hand, and she just hugged me and said “I’m sorry” - I nearly started sobbing at the bar we were at but I also felt so understood.
Another was the second person (after my husband) who I told about our second negative IUI result. It was only after I had sent that text and she responded almost immediately that I really let myself feel sad. Sometimes I want to be strong to pick my husband up during these hard moments, and vice versa him for me, and its only with other people that l finally admit how sad I am. So THANK YOU to these lady-angels. Your check ins, advice, and pep talks mean the world.
No matter what hard thing you are going through, finding people who have been through it, who get it, is so powerful. While I hope everyone reading this is super fertile and never needs it, it would make me so happy to help someone like these women have helped me.
